Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy.

Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking.

Patient: I don't drink and have never touched a drop in my life.

Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking.

Patient: I don't smoke either doctor.

Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.

Patient: Good heavens! I haven't had a girlfriend in my entire life.

Doctor: Your problem is you have no problems! Get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, find a girlfriend or two, and then you will be alright.