1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Be more or less specific.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Contractions aren't necessary.

5. One should never generalize.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

8. Understatement is always best.

9. The passive voice is to be avoided.

10. Who needs rhetorical questions?

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't never use a double negation.

13. Always pick on the correct idiom.

14. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

15. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The adverb always follows the verb.

18. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

19. Do not put statements in the negative form.

20. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

21. A writer must not shift your point of view.

22. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

23. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

24. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!