A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome.

The employer read all his applications & said, "We have an opening for people like you."

"Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"

"It's called the door!"

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"

The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".

"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"

"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", the camel mother answers.

"Thanks Mom" replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."

"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but... Mom?"

"Yes son?"

"Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?"

One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, Captain Bravo's lookout spotted a pirate ship. The crew became frantic! Captain Bravo bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumph. One of them asked the captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The captain replied, "If I had been wounded in the attack, the shirt would not have shown my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid."

All of the men sat and marveled at both the courage and intelligence of such a manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching! The crew stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual brilliant orders.

Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants!"

A blonde, a brunette and a red head walk into a bar. The bartender
tells them that there is a magic mirror in the bathroom. If they tell
the truth while looking into it then they get something nice, but if
they lie then they disappear.

The brunette walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think that I
am the sexiest woman in the bar." And $1 million pops up in the sink.

The red head walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I'm the
smartest woman in the bar." And car keys to Viper pop out of the sink.

The blonde walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think....." And
she disappears.