“I feel like carp today...”

“Yeah, you look a little fishy.”

A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller.

“What’s your kid’s name?” asks the bartender.

“Tiny,” says the lizard. “Because he’s my-newt.”

During a visit to our friend’s home in Canada, we were welcomed with a wonderful breakfast. But my six-year-old daughter was not impressed.

"Your pancakes are smaller than my mom’s," she told him.

He replied, "That’s because of the exchange rate."