Category: Baby Jokes

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Ranking: 3.69 / 1823
A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." So the married couple decided that they would try this. So the doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said "I feel okay turn it up a lot more" so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said "why donít you just put it all on me cause Iím not feeling a thing" but the doctor warned them "this much could kill you if your not prepared", and the husband replied "I am ready "so the doctor turned the machine up to 100% but the husband didnít fell a thing so they went home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mailman was dead on the front porch!
Thanks to: Courtney L - USA.
rec.:Aug/12/2001    pub.:Aug/29/2001    sent:Aug/25/2013

Ranking: 3.84 / 1079
Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"Thatís funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!
Thanks to: anonymous - Nigeria
rec.:Jan/21/2003    pub.:Jan/21/2003    sent:Apr/6/2015

Ranking: 3.48 / 821
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
Thanks to: Red - Mississauga - Ontario - Canada
rec.:May/25/2002    pub.:Aug/4/2002    sent:Jan/19/2014

Ranking: 3.33 / 809
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!
Thanks to: Sukhman - Canada
rec.:Aug/14/2002    pub.:Nov/12/2002    sent:Jun/29/2014

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