baby jokes

"Mother, how much do people pay per pound for babies?"

"Babies are not sold by the pound, darling."

"Then why do they always weigh them as soon as they are born?"

Dorothy, the little daughter of a tire salesman, had seen triplets for the first time.

"Oh mother," she cried out upon returning home, "what do you think I saw today?"

"I can't imagine, dear, what?"

"A lady had twins, and a spare!"

The fisherman got such a reputation for stretching the truth that he bought a pair of scales and insisted on weighing every fish he caught, in the presence of witnesses.

One day a doctor borrowed the fisherman's scales to weigh a new born baby.

The baby weighed 40 pounds.

After waiting in the hospital the nurse approached and inquired of the father, "What do you want? A boy or girl?"

The father replied, "A boy!"

The nurse said, "Well this time you got a girl."

"That's okay," said the father, being very reflective. "That was my second choice."