baby jokes

"What is your brother's name?"

Little Jane: "I don't know yet. We can't understand a word he says."

"Mother, how much do people pay per pound for babies?"

"Babies are not sold by the pound, darling."

"Then why do they always weigh them as soon as they are born?"

Dorothy, the little daughter of a tire salesman, had seen triplets for the first time.

"Oh mother," she cried out upon returning home, "what do you think I saw today?"

"I can't imagine, dear, what?"

"A lady had twins, and a spare!"

The fisherman got such a reputation for stretching the truth that he bought a pair of scales and insisted on weighing every fish he caught, in the presence of witnesses.

One day a doctor borrowed the fisherman's scales to weigh a new born baby.

The baby weighed 40 pounds.