baby jokes

On his first day back to work after the birth of his son, Randy's supervisor said, "I understand you have a new youngster at your house?"

Randy glanced around apprehensively, "For heaven's sake, you can't hear him all the way out here, can you?"

My daughter was working for the American Embassy in Australia when she was expecting her first child. I was so happy when she texted me with the news.

"I'm a grandfather!" I said to my coworkers.

"When was she born?" somebody queried.

Recalling the date she told me, I thought for a minute and said in a calm voice, "Tomorrow!"

JOHNNY: "Say Mom, was our baby sent down from heaven?"

MOTHER: "Yes, son."

JOHNNY: "I guess they like to have things quiet up there, huh?"