Category: Airplane Jokes



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Ranking: 2.71 / 138
Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before?
Passenger: No, I have not.
Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping.
Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help?
Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears.
#18146    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2007    pub.:Jun/22/2007    sent:Jul/25/2007


Ranking: 3.05 / 62
A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot. They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink. "Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist," says the parrot. The businessman orders a coke.
After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, "Where's my drink?! Stop fooling around and give me my drink!" The fight attendant runs to him with his glass, leaving the businessman still thirsty. Half an hour later the fight attendant makes a second round. The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal. The businessman asks for another coke. Again, after a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, "You lazy idiot! Where is my drink?!" The poor woman nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the newspaper. The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take his cue from the bird. "Hey! Where's my coke! The service here stinks!"
Out of nowhere the purser, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane.
At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the terrified man, "Wow that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings."

#20580    
Thanks to: Genie - Ottawa - Canada
rec.:Nov/9/2009    pub.:Nov/30/2009    sent:Dec/25/2009


Ranking: 2.70 / 101
A lady sitting in first class saw the cockpit door open, she was incredulous to see that the pilot was reading, very concerned she asked a flight attendant, “Miss, why is the pilot reading? Isn’t he supposed to be flying? “The woman fainted when the flight attendant said, "oh well, he’s just studying for his pilot license."
#19152    
Thanks to: *Saydi* - marine - IL - USA.
rec.:May/23/2008    pub.:Jun/3/2008


Ranking: 2.47 / 155
A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, do you have reservations?" He replied, "Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I'm flying anyway."
#13093    
Thanks to: anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/24/2004    pub.:Apr/12/2004    sent:Nov/9/2007


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