Category: Farmer Jokes



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Ranking: 3.84 / 363
This farmer had a wife who nagged him all the time. One day while he was outside plowing the field, she came out and started nagging him. While she was doing this, the mule kicked her and she died. At the funeral, the ladies came up and talked to the farmer. The farmer nodded his head "yes". The men came up and talked to him and the farmer nodded his head "no”. Well this other man wondered why he nodded his head "yes" to the ladies and "no" to the men. Then, he went up to the farmer and asked him why. The farmer replied,” Well, when the ladies came up, they told me how pretty my wife's dress was and how pretty she looked. When the men came up, they asked,’ That mule for sale?'
#3136    
Thanks to: Brandi Kapfer - Memphis - MO - USA.
rec.:Feb/2/2002    pub.:Mar/6/2002    sent:May/20/2013


Ranking: 3.40 / 135
John was driving his pickup down a country lane when suddenly a chicken darts out into the road in front of him. He's just about to slam on his brakes to avoid the chicken when he realizes that the chicken has sped on ahead doing about 30 miles per hour.
Amazed, he sped up to follow, but the chicken takes off faster and faster. Finally the chicken screeches into a turn and goes into a small farm. As he turns to follow, John notices that the chicken has three legs. He pulls to a stop in front of the farmhouse, and looking around, notices that ALL the chickens have three legs.
He says to the farmer, "Three-legged chickens? That's astounding!"
The farmer replies, "Yep, I bred 'em that way -- I love drumsticks."
John: "Well, tell me, how does a three-legged chicken taste?"
Farmer: "Dunno, haven't been able to catch one yet."
#259    
Thanks to: Rick Kennedy - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Feb/21/1999    pub.:Feb/21/1999    sent:Feb/21/1999


Ranking: 2.87 / 245
The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. 
Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." 
Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." 
Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
#589    
Thanks to: Gemma Piscotti - Chicago - IL - USA.
rec.:Feb/19/2000    pub.:Feb/19/2000    sent:Oct/8/2011


Ranking: 3.07 / 157
A farmer and his wife had just waken up one morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in bed, the farmer's wife says, "Pa, you know our neighbor Mr. Jones?"
"Yes Ma, I reckon I do," replied the sleepy farmer.
"Well, every morning before he leaves the house for work, he gives his wife a big ol' kiss. Why don't you ever do that?"
The farmer sighed and said, "Well, I reckon I can, but I just don't know her very well."
#15058    
Thanks to: Rob Allen - Columbia - Missouri - USA.
rec.:Apr/16/2005    pub.:Apr/18/2005    sent:Jan/28/2011


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