Category: Business Jokes



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Ranking: 2.48 / 48
Here's a humorous story about a wealthy businessman as told by one of his grandchildren. Back in 1927 the businessman was bringing his wife, new baby and a nurse home from the hospital in a brand new Lincoln. As luck would have it, the car stalled on the tracks and they could hear a whistle blowing in the distance. Now, the man would rather risk his life than admit he couldn't handle any problem.
He looked at his watch and said calmly, ''The 4:05 is right on time.'' ''My baby!'' screamed his wife. ''Let's get out!'' ''What! And leave a $6,000 Lincoln on the tracks!'' He snapped. ''If you will just settle down, I'll get it started.''
But nobody settled down, and the train came into view. Everyone left the car except the businessman. He leaned out the window and yelled to his wife, ''Hey Ruth. In case I get killed, the key to the vault is behind the Shakespeare book in my study.''
The conductor, slowing down for a stop anyway, managed to halt the train ten feet from the car.
''Darn!'' cursed the businessman. ''Now I've got to find a new hiding place for the vault key!''
#138    
Thanks to: Donna Stuckert - USA.
rec.:Sep/25/1998    pub.:Sep/25/1998    sent:Sep/25/1998


Ranking: 2.68 / 34
10 fun things to do at your local retail store.....
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
'I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,' and see what happens.
#380    
Thanks to: Nicole Brown - MO - USA.
rec.:Jul/9/1999    pub.:Jul/9/1999    sent:Jul/9/1999


Ranking: 2.61 / 36
After reading the complicated instructions for the automatic teller, the confused customer walked over to a bank officer. “Excused me,” said the customer, “but I was wondering if you could help me out.” “Certainly,” smiled the officer. “Go right through that door.”
#15589    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/30/2005    pub.:Jul/30/2005    sent:Aug/21/2005


Ranking: 2.18 / 73
Q. When does a job get complete in Government?
A. When it can no longer be postponed.
#17611    
Thanks to: H.N.Krishna Murthy - India
rec.:Jan/13/2007    pub.:Feb/5/2007    sent:Mar/2/2007


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