Category: Lawyer Jokes

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Ranking: 2.76 / 33
Three friends - a surgeon, an engineer, and a politician - were discussing which of their professions was the oldest. The surgeon said "Eve was created from Adam's rib - a surgical procedure." The engineer replied: "before Adam and Eve, order was created out of chaos, and that was an engineering job." The politician said, "Yes, but who do you suppose created the chaos?"
Thanks to: Edward Burman
rec.:Apr/23/1998    pub.:Apr/23/1998    sent:Apr/23/1998

Ranking: 2.86 / 28
A man needing some legal help walks into a law firm. He asks an attorney,
"If I give you $300 per hour to help answer two legal problems I have, will you help me?" The attorney replies "Sure, what's the other question?"
Thanks to: Mark O.
rec.:Oct/18/1998    pub.:Oct/18/1998    sent:Oct/18/1998

Ranking: 2.68 / 34
Your Honor,” began the defense attorney, “my client has been characterized as an incorrigible bank robber, without a single socially redeeming feature. I intend to disprove that.”
“And how will you accomplish this?” the judge inquired.
“By proving beyond a shadow of a doubt,” replied the lawyer, “that the note my client handed the teller was on recycled paper.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/20/2002    pub.:Jul/20/2002

Ranking: 3.05 / 20
A mother and a daughter are visiting a deceased family member in a graveyard. On the way out the daughter asks why they bury two people in one grave. The mother asks her daughter why she says that and the daughter replies, "Well, that gravestone says 'Here lays a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Thanks to: Quinn - USA.
rec.:Jul/21/2009    pub.:Sep/10/2009

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