Category: Lawyer Jokes



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Ranking: 2.73 / 26
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?" St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
#42    
Thanks to: Michael Salvaggio
rec.:Apr/24/1998    pub.:Apr/24/1998    sent:Apr/24/1998


Ranking: 2.60 / 30
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many you can afford!
#182    
Thanks to: Alan Oberholz
rec.:Nov/23/1998    pub.:Nov/23/1998    sent:Nov/23/1998


Ranking: 2.36 / 42
A lawyer’s son was about to enter college. He asked his son "Now how did it get into your head that you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?"
"Well dad," answered the son, "did you ever hear anybody in a crowd gathered around a heart-attack victim shout out frantically, 'Is there a lawyer in the house?'"
#157    
Thanks to: Mark O.
rec.:Oct/19/1998    pub.:Oct/19/1998    sent:Oct/19/1998


Ranking: 1.78 / 63
A man requires surgery to remove his left leg. He consults with the surgeon; plans are made for surgery the next morning. Morning comes and the Surgeon arrives still intoxicated from a night on the town. He removes the left leg only after mistakenly removing the right. Needless to say the patient, after recovering, saw a lawyer who told him he couldn't win, because he didn't have a leg to stand on.
#4453    
Thanks to: Ric Adams - St. Marys - WV - USA.
rec.:May/9/2002    pub.:Jul/6/2002


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