Category: Lawyer Jokes

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Ranking: 2.81 / 27
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?" St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
Thanks to: Michael Salvaggio
rec.:Apr/24/1998    pub.:Apr/24/1998    sent:Apr/24/1998

Ranking: 3.05 / 20
A mother and a daughter are visiting a deceased family member in a graveyard. On the way out the daughter asks why they bury two people in one grave. The mother asks her daughter why she says that and the daughter replies, "Well, that gravestone says 'Here lays a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Thanks to: Quinn - USA.
rec.:Jul/21/2009    pub.:Sep/10/2009

Ranking: 2.36 / 42
A lawyer’s son was about to enter college. He asked his son "Now how did it get into your head that you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?"
"Well dad," answered the son, "did you ever hear anybody in a crowd gathered around a heart-attack victim shout out frantically, 'Is there a lawyer in the house?'"
Thanks to: Mark O.
rec.:Oct/19/1998    pub.:Oct/19/1998    sent:Oct/19/1998

Ranking: 2.55 / 31
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many you can afford!
Thanks to: Alan Oberholz
rec.:Nov/23/1998    pub.:Nov/23/1998    sent:Nov/23/1998

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