Category: Lawyer Jokes



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Ranking: 2.73 / 45
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury trial,” the defendant replied. “Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge. “Sure,” replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one.”
#20830    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/22/2010    pub.:Jan/22/2010    sent:Feb/5/2010


Ranking: 2.86 / 35
How many personal injury lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to change the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and one to sue the ladder company.
#183    
Thanks to: Alan Oberholz
rec.:Nov/24/1998    pub.:Nov/24/1998    sent:Nov/24/1998


Ranking: 2.37 / 67
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a cat?
A: One is an arrogant creature that will claw you out of house and money, and the other is a cat.
#18872    
Thanks to: Travis - Seabrook - Texas - USA.
rec.:Feb/25/2008    pub.:Mar/12/2008    sent:Jan/5/2010


Ranking: 2.23 / 82
A man goes to see his lawyer to prepare his will. At the first meeting, the lawyer takes all the information down, and sends the man home, telling him to come see him again in two weeks.
Two weeks later, the man comes back, reads the will and signs it in front of three witnesses. The lawyer says: "That will be $100." (This is an old joke.)
The man pays him, shakes his hand and leaves.
The lawyer looks down in his hand and notices not one but two $100 bills, and so, he faces a serious ethical dilemma.
Do you know what the dilemma is?


Does he tell his partner, or not?
#2887    
Thanks to: Marc Jacobson - USA.
rec.:Jan/12/2002    pub.:Jan/20/2002


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