Ranking: 3.17 / 18
A police man pulls over a drunk driver for not stopping at a stop sign and asks the driver if he saw the stop sign. The driver replies "I did but it turned red too fast for me to stop."
Thanks to: awesome - USA.
rec.:Aug/16/2012 pub.:May/28/2013 sent:Jun/28/2013
Ranking: 2.35 / 48
A man steals paintings from a museum and gets a few blocks away, runs out of gas and the cops catch him. When asked what happened he replied..."I didnít have enough Monet to pay for Degas to make the Van Gogh!!!!
Thanks to: Lacey - Georgia - USA.
Ranking: 2.25 / 53
We've all been lost and depended on our wives to act as navigator.
Well, not long ago, Mrs. Jim Jr., her face buried in a map book, said "Turn here!" I did, and didn't notice the "No Left Turn" sign. Just my luck, a policeman was nearby and stopped me. I tried to explain that we were lost and I was following my wife's directions.
He issued me a ticket for "Driving Under the Influence of Wife."
Thanks to: Paulina A. Candia - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Sep/26/1998 pub.:Sep/26/1998 sent:Sep/26/1998
Ranking: 2.25 / 51
In Australia, a race was proclaimed, with a huge payoff for the winner. The one stipulation was that only ostriches were allowed to run the race. A fellow decided to enter, but not having an ostrich, and hearing that the fastest ostrich in the world was the mascot of the local police department, he stole the bird and entered the race. As luck would have it, when the pistol shot went off to start the race, the ostrich buried its head in the sand and the fellow lost the race.
Moral: Never run afoul of the law!
Thanks to: Freddie Pitz - Ottawa - Ontario - Canada
rec.:Apr/17/2007 pub.:Apr/30/2007 sent:Aug/14/2008