Ranking: 3.03 / 165
Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?"
Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!"
Policeman: "How can you be so certain?"
Pedestrian: "I’d recognize that laugh anywhere!"
Thanks to: kimmi - nottingham - nottinghamshire - United Kingdom
rec.:Jul/24/2003 pub.:Aug/19/2003 sent:Dec/2/2012
Ranking: 2.86 / 214
This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's license, he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now. I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
The guy said, "Officer, I have contacts."
The cop said, "Look, buddy, I don't care who you know, ... I'm giving you a ticket."
Thanks to: Walter Smith
rec.:Dec/13/1998 pub.:Dec/13/1998 sent:Jul/12/2012
Ranking: 3.26 / 104
A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/20/2009 pub.:Aug/20/2009 sent:May/17/2012
Ranking: 2.95 / 166
Shut Up and Trouble were walking down a path. Trouble got lost. So, Shut Up went to the police officer. The police officer asked, "What's your name?"
He answered, "Shut Up."
He asked again "What's your name?"
The police officer asked, "Are you looking for trouble?!"
"Yeah, I lost him down a path about two miles ago."
Thanks to: Ccay - Paw Paw - Michigan - USA.
rec.:Sep/15/1999 pub.:Sep/15/1999 sent:Dec/7/2013