Category: Clinton Jokes



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Ranking: 3.58 / 392
President Clinton decided to buy a puppy as a present for Hillary. He snuck the puppy under his coat into the White House and as he was walking down one of the halls he comes upon Al Gore. Clinton could not hold back his joy and shared his surprise with the Vice President. 
"Look what I got for Hillary!" exclaims Clinton, holding up the puppy.
Al Gore stares for a moment, then his eyes brighten up as he says, "Nice trade, sir!"
#647    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Apr/23/2000    pub.:Apr/23/2000    sent:Mar/13/2002


Ranking: 3.41 / 376
At a meeting for peace negotiations Bill Clinton and Saddam Hussein were in Baghdad and when bill sat down in the conference room he noticed Saddam with three buttons on the arm of his chair. After a few minutes Saddam pressed the first button and a boxing glove sprung up and hit Bill square in the jaw. In the spirit of peace Bill decided to ignore this and continued talking until Saddam pressed the second button and a wooden bat swung out and hill Bill in the chin. Saddam started laughing. But again Bill ignored this and continued. A minute later Bill saw Saddam press the third button and he jumped in the air. But a big boot sprung out and hit him in the balls. Bill had decided he had enough of this and when home.
Three weeks later the peace negotiations were re-scheduled in Washington and as Saddam sat down in Bills conference room he noticed Bill had three buttons on the arm of his chair. A little while after they started talking Bill pressed the first button but nothing happened, Bill started giggling. They continued to talk then Bill pressed the second button, Saddam moved but again nothing happened. Saddam was getting a little jumpy and Bill was laughing even harder. A few minutes later Bill pressed the third button and stared pissing himself but like the others nothing happened. Saddam had enough of this, stood up and said, "That's it! I'm going back to Baghdad!" to which Bill replied "What Baghdad?"

#917    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jan/12/2001    pub.:Jan/12/2001    sent:Mar/15/2002


Ranking: 3.60 / 207
One day, a man on a golf course, was having a really lousy game. Just as he was about to hit the ball, he heard a voice behind him. "Ribbit 9 iron, ribbit 9 iron." He turned around and there was a frog on the green. "OK frog, we'll just see how much you know," said the man. He used the 9 iron and hit a hole in one. The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think, frog?" "Ribbit 3 wood, ribbit 3 wood." After golfing the most amazing game of his life, the man takes the frog to the casino. "What do you think frog?" "Ribbit black 21, ribbit black 21." After winning around 40,000 dollars, the man takes the frog up to his hotel room and sits it on the bed. "OK frog, you've done so much for me, is there anything I can do for you?" "Ribbit kiss me, ribbit kiss me." So, the man leaned over and kissed the frog. It turned into a beautiful woman named Monica.
"And that, your honor, is how she got into my room, or my name isn't William Jefferson Clinton!"
#4365    
Thanks to: Danielle - Spring City - PA - USA.
rec.:May/1/2002    pub.:Jun/29/2002    sent:Mar/16/2005


Ranking: 3.12 / 243
Bill Clinton went jogging one evening and came upon the Washington Monument.

He said, "George, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, George replied,
"Abolish the IRS and start over."

Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging. Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped there. He said, "Tom, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Tom replied,
"Abolish welfare and start over."

Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial.He said, "Abe, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Abe replied,
"Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"
#43    
Thanks to: Andee Reg
rec.:Apr/27/1998    pub.:Apr/27/1998    sent:Apr/27/1998


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