Category: Kid Jokes



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Ranking: 3.22 / 110
Some boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up. They're coming after us with flashlights.
#64    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jun/4/1998    pub.:Jun/4/1998    sent:Nov/7/2013


Ranking: 3.56 / 70
An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. 
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. 
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"
#303    
Thanks to: Charlene Bochniak
rec.:Apr/18/1999    pub.:Apr/18/1999    sent:Oct/19/2014


Ranking: 3.71 / 58

For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the
Mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.
The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever
has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
#3316    
Thanks to: Judith Wright - USA.
rec.:Feb/14/2002    pub.:Mar/6/2002


Ranking: 3.21 / 108
Three young boys were boasting about their grandpas. The first boy said: "My grandpa is a great swimmer. He can swim for hours before getting out of the water!" The second boy said, "That's nothing. My grandpa always goes swimming at 6:00 in the morning every day, and only comes back at 9:00 pm because my mom says he has to!" The third boy says, "Your grandpas are both bad at swimming! My grandpa started swimming in this pond 20 years ago, and he hasn't come out since!!!"
#19706    
Thanks to: Jenny Zhang - Canada
rec.:Nov/30/2008    pub.:Dec/19/2008    sent:Apr/19/2013


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