Category: Kid Jokes



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Ranking: 2.84 / 191
Dear Son,

Your Pa has a new job. The first in 48 years. We are a little better, off now, getting $17.96 every Thursday. So we up and thought we'd do a little fixin’ up. We sent to Rosemont and Seasbuck for one of them there bathrooms you hear so much about and it took a plumber to put it in shape.
On one side of the room is a great big long thing, something like the hogs drink out of, only you get in it and wash all over. Over on the other side is a little white thing called a sink, this is for light washing, like face and hands, but over in the other corner we really got something.
There you put one foot in, wash it clean, pull a chain and get fresh water for the other foot. Two lids come with the darn thing and we ain't had any use for them in the bathroom, so I'm using one for a bread board and the other we framed grandmother's picture in.
They were awful nice people to deal with and they sent us a roll of writing paper with it.
Take care of yourself son.

Your Maw
#1053    
Thanks to: Carlos Cruz.
rec.:Jun/10/2001    pub.:Jun/10/2001    sent:Sep/6/2013


Ranking: 2.88 / 169
For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:
1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
4. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
5. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
#742    
Thanks to: Tiffany T
rec.:Aug/12/2000    pub.:Aug/12/2000    sent:May/7/2013


Ranking: 3.44 / 73
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied,
"I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one
knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking
up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
#3309    
Thanks to: Judith Wright - USA.
rec.:Feb/14/2002    pub.:Mar/6/2002


Ranking: 3.76 / 50
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large
pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples'.
#22904    
Thanks to: Anne - Canada
rec.:Jun/25/2012    pub.:May/28/2013    sent:Oct/10/2013


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