Ranking: 3.65 / 442
A policeman brought four boys before a judge.
"They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said.
"Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency.
Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong."
"My name is George," said the first boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Pete," said the second boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Mike," said the third boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Peanuts," said the fourth boy.
Thanks to: Mark Oberholz - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Feb/24/2000 pub.:Feb/24/2000 sent:Sep/24/2014
Ranking: 3.81 / 324
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil.
“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently.
“You did WHAT?! ?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”
Thanks to: Lynda Richman - Oxnard - CA - USA.
rec.:Mar/24/2004 pub.:Apr/12/2004 sent:May/15/2014
Ranking: 3.25 / 813
A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
Thanks to: Tabish Rizvi - Karachi - Sindh - Pakistan
rec.:Jan/29/2000 pub.:Jan/29/2000 sent:Sep/20/2013
Ranking: 3.36 / 634
A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"
The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"
Thanks to: Astrid
rec.:Jul/6/1998 pub.:Jul/6/1998 sent:Dec/22/2013