Ranking: 2.87 / 38
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma!!!," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!!!"
"Honestly?", his mother replied.
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
Thanks to: Peter Prestipino - USA.
rec.:Sep/4/2000 pub.:Sep/4/2000 sent:Sep/4/2000
Ranking: 2.28 / 87
A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.
"My dad died," the boy replied.
"That's terrible, when did it happen?"
"Five years ago," the boy said.
"Five years ago? And you are still this upset?"
"It's not that," the boy said. "It's just that my dad voted today, but he didn't come to see me."
Thanks to: Ego Nemo - USA.
rec.:Dec/18/2009 pub.:Jan/4/2010 sent:Jan/18/2010
Ranking: 2.88 / 33
Top 10 signs your presidential candidate is under-qualified
10. Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.
9. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing."
8. His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy."
7. Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.
6. Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut.
5. Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?"
4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?!?"
3. Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.
2. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!"
….. and the Number 1 Sign Your Presidential Candidate Is Under-Qualified..
1. On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a LIFELINE.
Thanks to: SimpleSentiments.com - Pembroke - Pines Florida - USA.
rec.:Mar/14/2000 pub.:Mar/14/2000 sent:Mar/14/2000
Ranking: 3.04 / 25
An independent voter was exploring the candidates and their parties.
He asked a campaigner of a party, "who represents your candidate?"
The campaigner answered, "Donkey".
The voter asked a campaigner of another party the same question.
The campaigner answered, "Elephant".
The voter then asked his wife, "who should I vote for - Donkey or Elephant?"
The wife suggested, "either one; both are same - animals."
Thanks to: Voter - USA.
rec.:Aug/15/2012 pub.:May/28/2013 sent:Jun/7/2013