Category: Political Jokes

Top 10 signs your presidential candidate is under-qualified 
10. Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii. 
9. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing." 
8. His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy." 
7. Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares. 
6. Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut. 
5. Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?" 
4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?!?" 
3. Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all. 
2. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!" 
….. and the Number 1 Sign Your Presidential Candidate Is Under-Qualified.. 
1. On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a LIFELINE. 

A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.
"My dad died," the boy replied.
"That's terrible, when did it happen?"
"Five years ago," the boy said.
"Five years ago? And you are still this upset?"
"It's not that," the boy said. "It's just that my dad voted today, but he didn't come to see me."

Q. What is the true definition of a diplomat?
A. It is a person who can tell someone to go to Hell and they would look forward to the trip.

George Washington probably did not chop down his father's cherry tree. George Washington probably did not admit it by saying, “I cannot tell a lie!" But people often repeat this story because it shows Washington's honesty. One day, Little Suzy once asked her mother, "Mom, do people who never tell lies go to heaven?" "Yes", her mother answered, "they are the only ones." "Gosh, I bet it gets lonesome up there with just God and George Washington!” replied Little Suzy.