Category: Political Jokes

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Ranking: 2.09 / 43
Q: How many Stalinists would it have taken to change a light bulb during the first 5 year plan?
A: None, for if the light bulb needed changing then comrade Stalin -- the most wonderous man alive and the embodiment of all that we Marxist-Leninist-Stalinists hold dear and aspire to -- would have foreseen the fact that the light bulb needed changing and so organized the 5 year plan to replace the light bulb before it needed changing from the vast stock of light bulbs which the plan had produced -- stocks in excess of the amount originally planned, for the workers were inspired by their love of Stalin and the Socialist Motherland to work harder and produce more, using less!
Thanks to: Mark Oberholz - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Feb/8/2001    pub.:Feb/8/2001    sent:Feb/8/2001

Ranking: 3.17 / 12
At a construction site on the 80th floor of a high rise building, the lone conservative on the crew was having a heated political discussion with the liberals on the project. Deciding to take a break, he called everyone over to the edge of the roof. "Did you know," he began, "that there are extremely violent invisible updrafts that are able to keep a body floating in mid-air? They only occur at certain times during the day between buildings. Here, I'll show you!" He then leaped off the side of the building, and with arms spread-eagle, floated effortlessly on an unseen cushion of air, and then gradually steered himself back to the safety of the roof. "That's awesome," one of the left-wingers shouted. "I want to try it." "Me too," another cried, and then another, and as they leaped over the side of the roof, one after the other, they fell 80 floors straight down to the ground, SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
A crowd rushed over to witness the carnage, and while doing so, one of the spectators looked up and remarked, "Boy, Clark Kent sure hates liberals!"
Thanks to: Alan Valentine - Avoca - Michigan - USA.
rec.:Nov/21/2013    pub.:Nov/29/2013

Ranking: 1.54 / 149
America's First Law of Motion:
An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object tends to stay at rest, unless an external force acts upon the object.
America tends to go its way unless acted upon by Osama.

America's Second Law of Motion:
The acceleration of a body is proportional to the force applied on it.
The number of sleeping pills an American takes is directly proportional to the number of video tapes Osama releases.

America's Third Law of Motion:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
For every death of an American, there is a death of an afghan.
Thanks to: Arvind Ramanujam - Chennai - India
rec.:Jan/11/2002    pub.:Jan/20/2002

Ranking: 2.12 / 34
The economy is so bad that:CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/9/2010    pub.:Feb/9/2010    sent:Jul/8/2010

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