Category: Political Jokes

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Ranking: 3.59 / 429
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right. What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
#256    
Thanks to: Dede Molter - USA.
rec.:Feb/18/1999    pub.:Feb/18/1999    sent:Apr/7/2013


Ranking: 3.92 / 179
An Israeli doctor says: "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in 6 weeks." A British doctor says: "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in 4 weeks." A Canadian doctor says: "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in 2 weeks." A Nigerian doctor, not to be outdone, says: "You guys are way behind...... We just took a man with NO brain, made him President, and now the whole country is looking for work.
#20081    
Thanks to: Biodun Ishola - Ikeja - Lagos - Nigeria
rec.:Apr/30/2009    pub.:May/15/2009    sent:Mar/4/2014


Ranking: 3.35 / 372
During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow. The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars. “That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government.” “Why’s that?”
“Because knowing the federal government, they’d decided to lower the highways.”
#17017    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/12/2006    pub.:Jul/12/2006    sent:Oct/21/2013


Ranking: 3.73 / 119
Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"
He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."
#13124    
Thanks to: Maggie Brown - Parma - Missouri - USA.
rec.:Mar/28/2004    pub.:Apr/12/2004    sent:Sep/24/2012


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