Category: Political Jokes



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Ranking: 3.71 / 115
Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"
He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."
#13124    
Thanks to: Maggie Brown - Parma - Missouri - USA.
rec.:Mar/28/2004    pub.:Apr/12/2004    sent:Sep/24/2012


Ranking: 3.32 / 195
Heaven is a place where the police are English; the chefs are Italian; the car mechanics are German; the lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is a place where the police are German; the chefs are English; the car mechanics are French; the lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.
#17312    
Thanks to: Simon - United Kingdom
rec.:Oct/23/2006    pub.:Oct/25/2006    sent:Sep/16/2012


Ranking: 3.21 / 194
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet.
#961    
Thanks to: HogViper
rec.:Mar/5/2001    pub.:Mar/5/2001    sent:Nov/10/2012


Ranking: 3.41 / 133
A selection of quotes from "I miss Dan Quayle".
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
-- J. Danforth Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- J. Danforth Quayle
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89
#2    
Thanks to: Cristina Monteverde - USA.
rec.:Mar/31/1997    pub.:Mar/31/1997    sent:Aug/9/2001


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