Category: Doctors Jokes

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Ranking: 2.75 / 118
At a mental health hospital a psychiatrist sets a test to determine the mental progress of his three top patients.
He gets three chairs and repaints them. Before they dry, he repositions them in a room in such a way that one is in front of the other. After this, he calls the three patients and asks them to seat down. The first two gladly sit on the wet chairs at the front. However, the third who comes in last takes one look at the wet chair and then proceeds to the corner of the room where there is a pile of papers. He takes one sheet which he drapes on the wet chair before sitting. Surprised by the action of the third, the doctor asks him why he draped the sheet of paper on the wet chair, "that's easy," came the reply, "seeing that am seated at the back, I needed to be a bit raised if I wanted to see what's happening at the front"
Thanks to: Cedric the CEDU!!! - Kampala - Uganda
rec.:Dec/6/2010    pub.:Dec/7/2010    sent:Feb/3/2011

Ranking: 3.31 / 51
A noted heart surgeon was having a formal party. Shortly before the guests were to begin arriving he was told that all the bathrooms were backed up and not flushing. Quickly he called a 24 hour plumber listed in the phone book. The plumber arrived quickly and within 15 minutes told the surgeon that all was well. He gave his bill to the heart surgeon and the surgeon exclaimed, "$900! You were only here 15 minutes! I'm a heart surgeon and even I can't charge that much"! The plumber quietly replied, “Neither could I when I was a heart surgeon".
Thanks to: George - Philadelphia - PA - USA.
rec.:Nov/22/2009    pub.:Nov/30/2009    sent:Apr/17/2011

Ranking: 3.10 / 62
At an international medical conference, and American, a German and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses.
The American said; “I can’t stand it sometimes, “We treat patients for cancer, and they die of AIDS.” “I know what you mean,” said the German “We treat them for yellow fever; ant it turns out they had malaria.” “We don’t have that problem in our country,” said the Russian doctor. “When we treat patients for a disease, they die of that disease.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/22/2008    pub.:Jan/22/2008    sent:Oct/8/2009

Ranking: 3.27 / 44
A woman was rushed into the hospital in an ambulance as she was just about to give birth to twins. At the hospital the lady was in such pain she had to be sedated. A couple of hours after the babies had been delivered, she woke up and asked to see her children. "Doctor, could you bring my babies to me so I can name them?" The doctor replied, "You don't need to worry about names, your brother has already named the "Why did you let him name them, he has no sense! What did he call the little girl then?" "De-nise!" replied the doctor. "Oh that’s not too bad, I thought u were going to tell me he'd named her something awful! So what did he call the little boy?" "De-nephew, of course!"
Thanks to: BUD
rec.:May/27/2001    pub.:May/27/2001    sent:May/27/2001

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