Category: Doctors Jokes

A woman was rushed into the hospital in an ambulance as she was just about to give birth to twins. At the hospital the lady was in such pain she had to be sedated. A couple of hours after the babies had been delivered, she woke up and asked to see her children. "Doctor, could you bring my babies to me so I can name them?" The doctor replied, "You don't need to worry about names, your brother has already named the "Why did you let him name them, he has no sense! What did he call the little girl then?" "De-nise!" replied the doctor. "Oh that’s not too bad, I thought u were going to tell me he'd named her something awful! So what did he call the little boy?" "De-nephew, of course!"

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him and asked; “could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?”
The surprised patient said; “why doctor, it wasn’t all that bad this time!”
The dentist said; “there are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock train.”

At an international medical conference, and American, a German and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses.
The American said; “I can’t stand it sometimes, “We treat patients for cancer, and they die of AIDS.” “I know what you mean,” said the German “We treat them for yellow fever; ant it turns out they had malaria.” “We don’t have that problem in our country,” said the Russian doctor. “When we treat patients for a disease, they die of that disease.”

A guy thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.
His hallucination became a real problem for his family and they finally took him to see a psychiatrist. After spending many laborious sessions trying to convince the guy he was still alive, the psychiatrist tried one last approach. He opened his medical book and proceeded to show the man that dead men don’t bleed. After a mind-numbing study, the man seemed convince that dead men don’t bleed, and the psychiatrist asked: “Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” “Yes I do” the man replied. “Very well, then,” the psychiatrist said. He took out a pin and pricked the man’s finger. Out came a drop of blood. The doctor asked. “What does that tell you?” “Oh my goodness!” The patient exclaimed as he stared doubtfully at his finger…. “Dead men do bleed!!”