Category: Doctors Jokes

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Ranking: 2.75 / 88
A guy thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.
His hallucination became a real problem for his family and they finally took him to see a psychiatrist. After spending many laborious sessions trying to convince the guy he was still alive, the psychiatrist tried one last approach. He opened his medical book and proceeded to show the man that dead men don’t bleed. After a mind-numbing study, the man seemed convince that dead men don’t bleed, and the psychiatrist asked: “Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” “Yes I do” the man replied. “Very well, then,” the psychiatrist said. He took out a pin and pricked the man’s finger. Out came a drop of blood. The doctor asked. “What does that tell you?” “Oh my goodness!” The patient exclaimed as he stared doubtfully at his finger…. “Dead men do bleed!!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/28/2007    pub.:Aug/28/2007    sent:Oct/6/2007

Ranking: 3.29 / 42
An Antartican was in the therapist office:
Dr. Hieden: Why are you here?
Antartican: I tried to commit suicide by taking 1,000 aspirins!!!!
Dr. hieden: What happened?
Antartican: Well after the first two I felt better!!!!
Thanks to: Erica - USA.
rec.:Apr/13/2002    pub.:Jun/22/2002

Ranking: 3.22 / 45
Old Granny Parkinson had won over half a million dollars in the lottery, but as she was a frail little woman her family was concerned that the shock of hearing the news might prove too much for her. Accordingly, they called in the family doctor to ask his advice.
“I’ll tell her if you like,” said the doctor. “I’ll lead up to it gradually.” The family accepted his offer gratefully, and showed him into the old lady’s bedroom. The doctor pretended to give her a routine examination and then began to chat generally of this and that, carefully leading the conversation ‘round to money. “Tell me Mrs. Parkinson,” he said, “what would you do if you suddenly came into half a million dollars?”
“Half a million?” said the old lady reflectively, “well you’ve always been very good to me, doctor, so I think I’d give half of it to you.”
And the doctor immediately collapsed and died of shock.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/24/2003    pub.:Jan/24/2003

Ranking: 2.92 / 66
Looking down at his patient, the doctor decided to tell him the truth. “I fell that I must tell you: You are a very sick man. I’m sure you would want to know the facts. I don’t think you have much time left. Now, is there anyone you would like to see?”
Bending down toward the sick man, the doctor heard him softly answer, “Yes.”
“Who is it?”
In a little stronger tone, the patient said, “Another doctor.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/24/2005    pub.:Jun/24/2005    sent:Aug/3/2005

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