Category: Doctors Jokes

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Ranking: 3.19 / 42
Old Granny Parkinson had won over half a million dollars in the lottery, but as she was a frail little woman her family was concerned that the shock of hearing the news might prove too much for her. Accordingly, they called in the family doctor to ask his advice.
“I’ll tell her if you like,” said the doctor. “I’ll lead up to it gradually.” The family accepted his offer gratefully, and showed him into the old lady’s bedroom. The doctor pretended to give her a routine examination and then began to chat generally of this and that, carefully leading the conversation ‘round to money. “Tell me Mrs. Parkinson,” he said, “what would you do if you suddenly came into half a million dollars?”
“Half a million?” said the old lady reflectively, “well you’ve always been very good to me, doctor, so I think I’d give half of it to you.”
And the doctor immediately collapsed and died of shock.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/24/2003    pub.:Jan/24/2003

Ranking: 2.67 / 86
Doctor my son swallowed my pen, what do I do?
Use a pencil until I get there.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/25/2009    pub.:Jun/25/2009    sent:Feb/23/2010

Ranking: 2.80 / 70
A man who had come out of a complicated abdominal surgery was complaining of having a bump on his head and a terrible headache. The nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operative shock, spoke to the surgeon about it. The doctor assured the nurse, “don’t worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway into the operation we ran out of anesthetic.”

Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/26/2008    pub.:Feb/26/2008    sent:Mar/22/2008

Ranking: 2.79 / 71
What’s wrong, Doctor? You look puzzled.”
“I can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with you. I think it’s the result of heavy drinking.”
“Well then, I’ll just come back when you’re sober.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/21/2003    pub.:Oct/21/2003    sent:Jan/5/2004

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