Category: Doctors Jokes

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Ranking: 2.88 / 34
"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Thanks to: Paulina A. Candia - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Jul/25/1998    pub.:Jul/25/1998    sent:Jul/25/1998

Ranking: 2.22 / 97
Patient: Oh, doctor, I have terrible troubles. I do hope that you can help me
Psychiatrist: Now calm down. Just lie down on the couch and tell me all about your troubles.
Patient: Well, doctor, I have a duplex penthouse apartment in New York and a summer house on the beach at the Hampton. I drive a Rolls-Royce, and my wife drives a Jaguar. My two boys go to the best private school in the city. We belong to three very swanky clubs, and every year I manage to spend a month in Europe.
Psychiatrist: These things are very wonderful, but let’s get down to your basic problem.
Patient: I was just getting to it, doctor. You see, I only make $100 a week!
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2007    pub.:Jun/22/2007    sent:Nov/20/2007

Ranking: 2.53 / 53
A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing.
A General Practitioner is someone who knows less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.
A pathologist is someone who knows more and more about everything until he knows everything about everything. But, too late.
Thanks to: Gene B - Hickory Hills - Illinois - USA.
rec.:Apr/2/2008    pub.:May/8/2008    sent:Aug/24/2009

Ranking: 2.53 / 49
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says."Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor."
10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately."10...9...8...7..."
Thanks to: Paulina A. Candia - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Jul/24/1998    pub.:Jul/24/1998    sent:Jul/24/1998

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