Category: Doctors Jokes

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Ranking: 2.97 / 32
A man was feeling terribly out of sorts and decided to go to the doctor so
he made an appointment and showed up the next day. After the doctor
examined the man, the doctor invited him into his office for the
consultation. The doctor came into the room with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor told the man to take the red pill in the morning with a big glass
of water, the blue pill in the afternoon with a big glass of water and the
green pill in the evening with a big glass of water.
The man, terribly shocked at the amount of pills he had to take asked the
doctor what in the world was wrong with him.
The doctor replied, "You aren't getting enough water."
Thanks to: Peter Prestipino - USA.
rec.:Apr/18/2000    pub.:Apr/18/2000    sent:Apr/18/2000

Ranking: 2.23 / 98
Patient: Oh, doctor, I have terrible troubles. I do hope that you can help me
Psychiatrist: Now calm down. Just lie down on the couch and tell me all about your troubles.
Patient: Well, doctor, I have a duplex penthouse apartment in New York and a summer house on the beach at the Hampton. I drive a Rolls-Royce, and my wife drives a Jaguar. My two boys go to the best private school in the city. We belong to three very swanky clubs, and every year I manage to spend a month in Europe.
Psychiatrist: These things are very wonderful, but let’s get down to your basic problem.
Patient: I was just getting to it, doctor. You see, I only make $100 a week!
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jun/22/2007    pub.:Jun/22/2007    sent:Nov/20/2007

Ranking: 2.39 / 71
A man visits his psychiatrist and talks about being haunted by visions of his departed relatives. He says; these ghosts are perched on the tops of fence posts around my garden every night. They sit there and watch me and watch me. What can I do?
The psychiatrist says; that's easy … just sharpen the tops of the posts.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Feb/20/2006    pub.:Feb/20/2006    sent:Nov/2/2006

Ranking: 2.88 / 34
"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Thanks to: Paulina A. Candia - Santiago - R. M. - Chile
rec.:Jul/25/1998    pub.:Jul/25/1998    sent:Jul/25/1998

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