Category: Doctors Jokes

A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing.
A General Practitioner is someone who knows less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.
A pathologist is someone who knows more and more about everything until he knows everything about everything. But, too late.

A man visits his doctor and says, doctor, I keep seeing green Martians before my eyes.
The doctor asks have you seen a psychiatrist?
The patient says, "No Only green Martians!"

A man came to the emergency room with a series of long, jagged tear marks on his cheek and neck, as though he had been clawed by some large animal.
"What happened to you?" asked the doctor who was examining him.
"Chain saw accident," the man replied.
"Well, you're lucky," the doctor said; "I've seen worse."
"It wasn't turned on," the man replied.

After many sessions the psychiatrist says to his patient: Congratulations, Sir, you are cured. The patient says: Some cure. Before I was Alexander the Great. Now I’m nobody.