Ranking: 3.64 / 107
Doctor, you were right when you said you’d have me on my feet and walking in no time.
That’s good John; when did you start walking?
When I got your bill doctor, I had to sell my car to pay it.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/30/2009 pub.:Mar/30/2009 sent:Aug/3/2011
Ranking: 3.80 / 86
Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time.
She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.” While reading the doctor's diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago.
The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly bent over from old age, and says “hello, how can I help you?”
The woman asks; “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?”
“Yes I did”, the doctor answered.
She asks: “Class of 49?” “Yes I was”, was the answered.
The woman was delighted, and said: “You were in my class!”
The doctor responded: “What did you teach?”
Thanks to: Phil Writer - Veneta - OR - USA.
rec.:Sep/14/2005 pub.:Sep/27/2005 sent:Dec/18/2005
Ranking: 3.74 / 82
Things Not to Hear During Surgery,Part I Darn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that....uh....that uh....thingie.
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Thanks to: Avery Linder
rec.:Mar/17/2001 pub.:Mar/17/2001 sent:Mar/17/2001
Ranking: 3.33 / 139
A man walks into a doctor’s office with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, the man asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and replies: "You're not eating properly!"
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Jun/21/2001 pub.:Jun/21/2001 sent:Mar/11/2010