Category: Doctors Jokes

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Ranking: 3.16 / 190
A psychiatrist's secretary walks into his study and says,
"There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you.
Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responds, "Tell him I can't see him."
Thanks to: sleepykid500 - NY - USA.
rec.:Nov/3/2006    pub.:Nov/13/2006    sent:Feb/12/2010

Ranking: 3.71 / 84
This guy went to see a highly recommend psychiatrist. The doctor showed the man an inkblot and asked, "What does this remind you of?"

The guy replied, "A naked woman." Then the shrink showed the man another inkblot and asked the guy the same question. The guy responded, "A naked woman on a bed." This went on and on, inkblot after inkblot.

The psychiatrist finally said to the guy, "You are a sick pervert." The guy replied, "I'm not the pervert here. You're the one who keeps showing me all those dirty pictures."

Thanks to: Samantha Parin - Clark - NewJersey - USA.
rec.:Mar/23/2003    pub.:May/27/2003

Ranking: 3.71 / 84
Things Not to Hear During Surgery,Part I Darn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that....uh....that uh....thingie.
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Thanks to: Avery Linder
rec.:Mar/17/2001    pub.:Mar/17/2001    sent:Mar/17/2001

Ranking: 3.48 / 111
A man is surprised to receives a call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have some bad news and some worse news."
"Well, alright, give me the bad news first," said the man.
"Well," said the doctor, "The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live."
"Holy Cow! That is some bad news!" the man exclaimed. "What news could be worse than that?" he asked.
"The worse news is that I have been trying to reach you since yesterday."
Thanks to: Lindsey Christensen - USA.
rec.:Nov/7/2001    pub.:Dec/9/2001    sent:Jul/11/2012

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