Ranking: 2.88 / 179
Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They're going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground.
The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch crash. The second throws his watch and takes only two steps when he hears his watch shatter.
The third tosses his watch off the tower, jogs down the stairs, goes to a candy store, buys a snack, walks back to Big Ben and catches his watch. "How did you do that?" asks one of his friends.
"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
Thanks to: matt friedman - NASHVILL - tn - USA.
rec.:May/19/2002 pub.:Jul/28/2002 sent:Mar/1/2013
Ranking: 3.41 / 78
A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine.
"Do you know how to operate this thing?" he asks. "I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right."
"Sure," the other man answers. "Just put the paper in here and press this button."
The first man does so, saying, "Great. And where do the copies come out?"
Thanks to: K Meyer - Westfield - NC - USA.
rec.:Apr/19/2007 pub.:Apr/30/2007 sent:Jun/2/2007
Ranking: 2.87 / 174
Building Security has notified us that there have been 5 suspected terrorists working at our office. Four of the five have been apprehended. Bin Sleeping, Bin Loafing, Bin Gossiping, and Bin Surfing have been taken into custody. Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the fifth cell member, Bin Working, in the office. Police are confident that anyone who looks like Bin Working will be very easy to spot. They thought they had apprehended Bin Working sitting at a desk, but it was actually Bin Surfing trying to impersonate Bin Working.
Thanks to: Ruth - Hollywood - MD - USA.
rec.:Nov/2/2001 pub.:Dec/9/2001 sent:Aug/9/2013
Ranking: 3.85 / 39
General Amalgamated Industries, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here."
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
Thanks to: Ken - USA.
rec.:Apr/8/2013 pub.:Jun/21/2013 sent:Aug/17/2013