Ranking: 2.69 / 70
A cheating painting contractor has been skimping by thinning his paint excessively. Nevertheless, he lands a big job painting a church. He's almost done when a major storm comes up. It washes all the paint off. Midst the thunder and lightening, a loud voice is heard, REPAINT, and REPAINT, THIN NO MORE!
Thanks to: DeLoy H. Esplin - Goleta - CA - USA.
rec.:Jan/5/2004 pub.:Jan/19/2004 sent:Mar/4/2004
Ranking: 3.28 / 32
How is your new job at the factory?” One guy asked another.
“I’m not going back there.”
“For many reasons,” he answered. “The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship, the awful language – they just couldn’t put up with it.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
Ranking: 3.24 / 33
The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, "Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?" Puzzled, the engineer responds that in all calculations, even simple ones like that, he never relies on his memory. He always uses a calculator with a paper printout, and double-checks his answer. "Fine", says the manager, but I just want you to tell me the answer anyway from memory without using your calculator. "Sure," says the engineer. "Four times eight is, uh, thirty-four." After saying goodbye and leaving the building, the engineer hurriedly pushes up four times eight into his calculator and curses when he sees the answer.
Nonetheless, he gets the job. Six months later, when he's doing well and feels confident enough, he walks up to his boss and asks him. "Sir, I'm curious. Why is it that out of all those engineering candidates, you hired me, when I gave you the wrong answer to four-times-eight?" His boss looks up and says, "Your answer was the closest."
Thanks to: Dan Wheatley - USA.
Ranking: 2.98 / 44
HOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 1990'
1.) You tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2.) You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
3.) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
4.) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
5.) You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"
6.) Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
7.) You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
8.) You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.
9.) Your daughter just bought a C.D. of all the records your college roommate used to play.
10.) You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
11.) You check your blow dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
12.) Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail Inbox, asking you to send her JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
13.) You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
Thanks to: timothy - Canada
rec.:Sep/18/2005 pub.:Sep/27/2005 sent:Dec/1/2005