Category: Work Jokes

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Ranking: 3.02 / 45
HOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 1990'

1.) You tried to enter your password on the microwave.

2.) You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."

3.) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

4.) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

5.) You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"

6.) Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

7.) You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.

8.) You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.

9.) Your daughter just bought a C.D. of all the records your college roommate used to play.

10.) You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.

11.) You check your blow dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.

12.) Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail Inbox, asking you to send her JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

13.) You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
#15801    
Thanks to: timothy - Canada
rec.:Sep/18/2005    pub.:Sep/27/2005    sent:Dec/1/2005


Ranking: 2.94 / 50
After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Peter was hired by a warehouse. But one day he lost control of the forklift and drove it off the loading dock.
Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he’d have to withhold 10 percent of Peter’s wages to pay for the repairs. “How much will it cost?” asked Peter
“About $4,500,” said the owner.
“What a relief!” exclaimed Peter. “I’ve finally got job security!”
#5323    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/12/2002    pub.:Jul/12/2002


Ranking: 2.69 / 70
A cheating painting contractor has been skimping by thinning his paint excessively. Nevertheless, he lands a big job painting a church. He's almost done when a major storm comes up. It washes all the paint off. Midst the thunder and lightening, a loud voice is heard, REPAINT, and REPAINT, THIN NO MORE!

#12436    
Thanks to: DeLoy H. Esplin - Goleta - CA - USA.
rec.:Jan/5/2004    pub.:Jan/19/2004    sent:Mar/4/2004


Ranking: 2.98 / 42
After he finished his route, a bus driver had to explain to the supervisor, why he was 10 minutes late; "I was stuck behind a big truck." "But yesterday you were 10 minutes early," reminded the boss. "Yeah, the bus driver replied. "But yesterday I was stuck behind a Porshe."
#2662    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jan/2/2002    pub.:Jan/2/2002


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