Category: Work Jokes

Part II
WHAT THE NEW JOB-LINGO REALLY MEANS by Dede Molter


"CAREER-MINDED": Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people whom just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."

A painter accepted the task of painting a church steeple. He had 10 gallons of white paint. Half way down the steeple he had already used 6.5 gallons. He made sure no one was looking and then diluted the remaining paint with paint thinner.

He finished the job, cleaned his brush and rollers, and looked up to see that there were two distinct colors of white on the steeple.

"Oh, no!" he exclaimed, "What can I do now?"

A clap of thunder roared above him, and a booming voice was heard saying, "Repaint! And stop your thinning!"

The man applied for a job with a chain food store. “What is your experience with groceries?” asked the interviewer. “Well,” said the applicant. “I’m eating them all the time.”