Ranking: 2.95 / 178
Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch."
"Oh dear, I'm sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."
Thanks to: Simple Sentiments - Florida - USA.
rec.:Feb/13/2000 pub.:Feb/13/2000 sent:Feb/25/2002
Ranking: 3.88 / 51
At a party an elderly lady was bemoaning the behavior of the youth of today.
“Look at the girl over there,” she complained. “I don’t know what young girls are coming to! She’s wearing boy’s jeans, a boy’s shirt, and that haircut is so boyish – you wouldn’t know she was a girl at all, would you?”
“Well, as it happens, I would,” came the reply, “because she is my daughter.”
“Oh dear,” said the old lady embarrassed, “I’m so sorry – I didn’t know you were her father.”
“I’m not, I’m her mother.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
Ranking: 3.16 / 125
Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys. The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.
His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''
Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest.''
Thanks to: Kim Rosel - USA.
rec.:Nov/3/1998 pub.:Nov/3/1998 sent:Jun/24/2012
Ranking: 3.21 / 116
This police officer sees an old lady driving and knitting at the same time so after driving next to her for awhile he yells to her,"PULLOVER". She replies,"No a pair of socks".
Thanks to: Andrea - Colorado - USA.
rec.:Dec/18/2001 pub.:Dec/27/2001 sent:Apr/21/2013