Category: Elderly Jokes



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Ranking: 2.97 / 192
A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.

One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn't let me have my half of the road!"

After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, "That old lady says that you wouldn't let her have her half of the road. Why not?

In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, "Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road --- if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!"
#14468    
Thanks to: Steve Smith - USA.
rec.:Jan/7/2005    pub.:Jan/13/2005    sent:Oct/14/2011


Ranking: 3.05 / 165
Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr. Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will.
“I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation.”
“And that is?”
“In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death.”
The lawyer seemed puzzled. “Why make such an unusual request?”
Mr. Sams answered, “Because I want someone to be sorry I died.”
#11056    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/17/2003    pub.:Sep/17/2003    sent:Dec/3/2012


Ranking: 3.92 / 53
At a party an elderly lady was bemoaning the behavior of the youth of today.
“Look at the girl over there,” she complained. “I don’t know what young girls are coming to! She’s wearing boy’s jeans, a boy’s shirt, and that haircut is so boyish – you wouldn’t know she was a girl at all, would you?”
“Well, as it happens, I would,” came the reply, “because she is my daughter.”
“Oh dear,” said the old lady embarrassed, “I’m so sorry – I didn’t know you were her father.”
“I’m not, I’m her mother.”
#8885    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/7/2003    pub.:Apr/7/2003


Ranking: 3.38 / 100
An old man is afraid that his wife is loosing her hearing. So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, "Can you hear me?" She didn't answer. He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer. Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, "for the third time yes!!!"
#15324    
Thanks to: Sophia - California - USA.
rec.:Jun/5/2005    pub.:Jun/21/2005    sent:Aug/23/2014


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