Category: Elderly Jokes

[92]  3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17  
Ranking: 2.98 / 194
A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.

One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn't let me have my half of the road!"

After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, "That old lady says that you wouldn't let her have her half of the road. Why not?

In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, "Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road --- if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!"
#14468    
Thanks to: Steve Smith - USA.
rec.:Jan/7/2005    pub.:Jan/13/2005    sent:Oct/14/2011


Ranking: 3.58 / 80

Three old ladies sit in a diner, discussing their health. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"
#20032    
Thanks to: Jeff Knowles - La Habra - Ca - USA.
rec.:Apr/9/2009    pub.:Oct/6/2009    sent:Oct/18/2009


Ranking: 3.06 / 166
Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr. Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will.
“I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation.”
“And that is?”
“In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death.”
The lawyer seemed puzzled. “Why make such an unusual request?”
Mr. Sams answered, “Because I want someone to be sorry I died.”
#11056    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/17/2003    pub.:Sep/17/2003    sent:Dec/3/2012


Ranking: 3.41 / 98
A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be. A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane!"
#18198    
Thanks to: Y Tinu - USA.
rec.:Jul/11/2007    pub.:Oct/3/2007    sent:Aug/28/2009


[92]  3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17  


 


© 1995-2015 EMERgency 24 Inc.


91