Category: Elderly Jokes



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Ranking: 3.17 / 126
Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys. The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.
His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''
Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest.''
#169    
Thanks to: Kim Rosel - USA.
rec.:Nov/3/1998    pub.:Nov/3/1998    sent:Jun/24/2012


Ranking: 3.46 / 83
A senior couple decided to go shopping one day, and split their efforts by going separate ways. Near the end of the shopping event they decided to get together for lunch. As the woman was on her way to the rendezvous point, she heard a traffic warning on the radio that a car was driving in the wrong direction up ahead. Knowing that her husband was near the point of the warning, she decided to call him on the cell phone. When he answered, she explained, "I just heard on the news, someone is driving in the wrong direction on the highway!" And the husband replied, "One? There's hundreds of folks going the wrong way where I am!"
#16548    
Thanks to: Jason in Austin - Austin - TX - USA.
rec.:Mar/8/2006    pub.:Apr/4/2006    sent:Jan/25/2007


Ranking: 3.08 / 140
The old man approached a young stranger in the post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this postcard for me?" The man gladly did so, and then offered to write a short note for the old fellow. Finally the stranger asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" The old man thought a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you add, Please excuse the sloppy handwriting."
#121    
Thanks to: Timothy Mossburg - Columbus - Ohio
rec.:Aug/18/1998    pub.:Aug/18/1998    sent:Oct/22/2013


Ranking: 3.19 / 114
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.”
“Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.”
“It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I open a drawer or a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”

#4076    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/13/2002    pub.:Apr/13/2002    sent:Aug/2/2013


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