Category: Elderly Jokes

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Ranking: 3.16 / 114
An elderly couple is getting ready for bed. She says Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house." He says, “I’ll go get some." She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry." She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget." He says, “I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes. Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH". She says,” I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."
Thanks to: katy - USA.
rec.:Nov/17/2003    pub.:Dec/10/2003    sent:Oct/22/2013

Ranking: 3.74 / 53
Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the care home one day when Tim turned to the other and said "John I'm really feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?
John replied "I feel just like a new born babe"
Tim looked at him startled "A New Born babe really?"
"Yep, I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Thanks to: Anne - Canada
rec.:Jun/26/2012    pub.:May/28/2013    sent:Jul/24/2013

Ranking: 2.83 / 183
This man comes through a door to the bar and slipped on a pile of crap, he mumbles and brushes himself off. He orders a drink and sits down. A few minutes later a younger man walks through the door yelling and screaming, and he slips on the pile of crap. He gets up and looks around, and then he sits down next to the older guy. The older man says, "I did that!" The younger man punches the old man and leaves.
Thanks to: Megan - USA.
rec.:Nov/5/2001    pub.:Dec/9/2001    sent:Mar/13/2014

Ranking: 2.90 / 120
An elderly couple stood before the family court judge after a long divorce trial. The judge asked why they wanted a divorce after having been married for nearly 70 years. They answered:" We wanted to wait, till after the kids had died".
Thanks to: J .Kikstra - parksville on Vancouver Island - British Columbia - Canada
rec.:Nov/25/2001    pub.:Dec/8/2001    sent:May/12/2012

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