Ranking: 3.14 / 97
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.”
“Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.”
“It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I open a drawer or a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
Ranking: 2.90 / 118
An elderly couple stood before the family court judge after a long divorce trial. The judge asked why they wanted a divorce after having been married for nearly 70 years. They answered:" We wanted to wait, till after the kids had died".
Thanks to: J .Kikstra - parksville on Vancouver Island - British Columbia - Canada
rec.:Nov/25/2001 pub.:Dec/8/2001 sent:May/12/2012
Ranking: 3.06 / 79
Grandpa: boy, how many miles do you walk to school?
Boy: about a half mile.
Grandpa: when I was your age I walked eight miles to school every day. Boy, what are your grades like?
Boy: they are mostly B's.
Grandpa: when I was your age I got all A's. Boy, have you ever gotten into a fight?
Boy: only two times and the boy beat me up.
Grandpa: When I was your age I was in a fight every day. Boy, how old are you?
Boy: 9 years old.
Grandpa: when I was your age I was 11
Thanks to: Samantha - USA.
rec.:Aug/2/2002 pub.:Nov/12/2002 sent:Dec/17/2011
Ranking: 3.00 / 73
Two elderly men were sunning themselves on a Miami Beach when they started a friendly conversation.
"I was able to move here to retire in Miami after my business burned to the ground," the one man said. "The insurance payment sure came in handy."
The other replied, "I'm here living from an insurance claim when my factory was flooded out."
The first man pondered for a few seconds and then asked, "How do you start a flood?"
Thanks to: Harry Kuhles - Montgomery - TX - USA.
rec.:Jul/27/2007 pub.:Oct/26/2007 sent:Dec/3/2007