Category: Elderly Jokes

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Ranking: 3.10 / 87
Grandpa: boy, how many miles do you walk to school?
Boy: about a half mile.
Grandpa: when I was your age I walked eight miles to school every day. Boy, what are your grades like?
Boy: they are mostly B's.
Grandpa: when I was your age I got all A's. Boy, have you ever gotten into a fight?
Boy: only two times and the boy beat me up.
Grandpa: When I was your age I was in a fight every day. Boy, how old are you?
Boy: 9 years old.
Grandpa: when I was your age I was 11
Thanks to: Samantha - USA.
rec.:Aug/2/2002    pub.:Nov/12/2002    sent:Dec/17/2011

Ranking: 3.10 / 68
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me".
The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
Thanks to: Kiwi Merv - Palmerston North - New Zealand
rec.:Jan/24/2007    pub.:Feb/5/2007    sent:Jul/12/2007

Ranking: 3.00 / 75
Two elderly men were sunning themselves on a Miami Beach when they started a friendly conversation.
"I was able to move here to retire in Miami after my business burned to the ground," the one man said. "The insurance payment sure came in handy."
The other replied, "I'm here living from an insurance claim when my factory was flooded out."
The first man pondered for a few seconds and then asked, "How do you start a flood?"
Thanks to: Harry Kuhles - Montgomery - TX - USA.
rec.:Jul/27/2007    pub.:Oct/26/2007    sent:Dec/3/2007

Ranking: 3.10 / 63
It was rumored that a particular Native American had a fantastic memory. Hundreds of people asked the American questions which he was able to answer. A skeptical young man set out to find this American. When he did find the American he thought he'd set a test. After standing in a long queue of people asking questions it was finally his turn. He asked the American what he had had for breakfast 10 years ago. The American replied: eggs. The young man went off not entirely satisfied because there was no evidence to prove that the answer was correct.
Ten years later the man comes across the Native American again. Very pleased to see him he comes along to the American and greets him in the traditional "How". The American looks up at him, pauses for a moment and then replies: Scrambled.
Thanks to: Rishad - Cape Town - South Africa
rec.:Apr/12/2007    pub.:Apr/16/2007    sent:Sep/19/2007

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