Category: Elderly Jokes

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Ranking: 2.46 / 41
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. 
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked. 
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion." 
Thanks to: Mark Oberholz - Chicago - USA.
rec.:Jun/9/2000    pub.:Jun/9/2000    sent:Jun/9/2000

Ranking: 2.12 / 69
An older man went to his doctor with a variety of complaints. After examining him, the doctor said, "Well, you've got some problems, all right, but if you'd give up smoking, drinking, and chasing women, I think you'd last a good while longer."
"But Doc," answered the man, "I don't smoke, drink, or chase women."
"Oh," replied the doctor, "I'm sorry."
Moral: Keep some vices to give up in your old age.
Thanks to: K Meyer - Westfield - NC - USA.
rec.:Apr/19/2007    pub.:Jun/12/2007    sent:Apr/14/2008

Ranking: 2.01 / 72
An eighty-year-old man went to his doctor to complain about pain in one knee. The doctor examined it gently and said, "Well, you know that knee is eighty years old. You can't expect too much."
"That's true," the man agreed; "but Doc, so is the other one and it's not bothering me like this one!"
Thanks to: K Meyer - Westfield - NC - USA.
rec.:Apr/19/2007    pub.:Apr/30/2007    sent:Dec/7/2007

Ranking: 2.15 / 52
Two old buddies went fishing and one lost his dentures over the side of the boat in rough weather, so his prankster friend removed his own false teeth, tied them on his line and pretended he had caught the missing gnashers.
Unhooking the teeth, his grateful mate tried to put them into his mouth, then hurled them into the sea with the disgusted remark: “They’re not mine – they don’t fit!”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/10/2002    pub.:Jul/10/2002

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