Category: Elderly Jokes



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Ranking: 3.76 / 76
Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together. One night, the 96 year old starts a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. "Was I getting in or out of the bath??"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don’t know, but I'll come up and see!" She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down??"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells to her sisters, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door!"
#4312    
Thanks to: lindsey jo - USA.
rec.:Apr/28/2002    pub.:Jun/26/2002


Ranking: 3.39 / 112
A woman on the phone to her friend; I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising…. I decided to take and aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
#20403    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/19/2009    pub.:Aug/19/2009    sent:Apr/9/2011


Ranking: 3.66 / 79
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist” Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure
he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for
the jewelry."
#2316    
Thanks to: Ken - Canada
rec.:Dec/8/2001    pub.:Dec/27/2001    sent:Oct/24/2013


Ranking: 3.22 / 143
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please." she answered.
"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. “No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
#16633    
Thanks to: Laurie - Roanoke - VA - USA.
rec.:Mar/29/2006    pub.:Apr/6/2006    sent:Apr/12/2010


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