Ranking: 4.20 / 45
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says,
"Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
Thanks to: Joe Bledsoe - Liberia - Costa Rica
rec.:Aug/28/2012 pub.:Jun/17/2013 sent:Aug/28/2013
Ranking: 3.67 / 78
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist” Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure
he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for
Thanks to: Ken - Canada
rec.:Dec/8/2001 pub.:Dec/27/2001 sent:Oct/24/2013
Ranking: 3.22 / 141
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please." she answered.
"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. “No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
Thanks to: Laurie - Roanoke - VA - USA.
rec.:Mar/29/2006 pub.:Apr/6/2006 sent:Apr/12/2010
Ranking: 3.36 / 109
A woman on the phone to her friend; I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising…. I decided to take and aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/19/2009 pub.:Aug/19/2009 sent:Apr/9/2011