Category: Elderly Jokes



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Ranking: 3.85 / 65
An old couple is sitting in their living room when the old woman leans over and says to the old man, "Remember when we were younger and you used to hold my hand?" The old man grabs the old woman's hand. Then she says, "Remember when we were younger and you used to put your arm around me?" The old man puts his arm around the old woman. Then she says, "Remember when we were younger and you used to nibble on my ear?" To the old woman's surprise, the old man gets up off the couch and starts to walk away. "Honey, where are
you going?" she says. The old man replies, "I'm going to get my dentures."
#844    
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:Oct/9/2000    pub.:Oct/9/2000    sent:Oct/9/2000


Ranking: 3.23 / 142
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please." she answered.
"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. “No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
#16633    
Thanks to: Laurie - Roanoke - VA - USA.
rec.:Mar/29/2006    pub.:Apr/6/2006    sent:Apr/12/2010


Ranking: 3.67 / 78
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist” Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure
he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for
the jewelry."
#2316    
Thanks to: Ken - Canada
rec.:Dec/8/2001    pub.:Dec/27/2001    sent:Oct/24/2013


Ranking: 3.36 / 110
A woman on the phone to her friend; I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising…. I decided to take and aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
#20403    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Aug/19/2009    pub.:Aug/19/2009    sent:Apr/9/2011


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