Category: One Liners Jokes



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Ranking: 4.35 / 612
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last; thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
#21317    
Thanks to: your mom - USA.
rec.:Jul/11/2010    pub.:Oct/26/2010    sent:Jan/23/2012


Ranking: 3.60 / 699
Confusius say,"Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
#1541    
Thanks to: Connor - Albuquerque - New Mexico - USA.
rec.:Oct/2/2001    pub.:Oct/3/2001    sent:Mar/15/2006


Ranking: 3.82 / 459
Q. How do you make holy water?
A. Boil the hell out of it.
#181    
Thanks to: Sarah - Brookhaven - Mississippi - USA.
rec.:Nov/19/1998    pub.:Nov/19/1998    sent:Sep/25/2010


Ranking: 3.43 / 618
Q. Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
A. She can't find the eleven
#2772    
Thanks to: ryan - Venezuela
rec.:Jan/6/2002    pub.:Jan/12/2002    sent:Apr/30/2014


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