one liner jokes

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and asked them to write the rest.

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You ... Mess It Up.

Better Be Safe Than ... Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The ... Bug Is Close.

It's Always Darkest Before ... Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate the Power of ... Termites.

You Can Lead a Horse to Water But ... How?

Don't Bite the Hand that ... Looks Dirty.

No News is ... Impossible.

A Miss Is As Good As a ... Mr.

You Can't Teach an Old Dog New ... Math.

If You Lie Down With the Dogs, You'll ... Stink in the Morning.

Love All, Trust ... Me

The Pen is Mightier Than the ... Pigs.

An Idle Mind is ... The Best Way to Relax.

Where There's Smoke, There's ... Pollution.

Happy the Bride Who ... Gets All the Presents!

A Penny Saved is ... Not Much.

Two's Company, Three's ... The Musketeers.

None are so Blind as... Helen Keller.

I can't believe Thanksgiving was 10 pounds ago...

Saw a bumper sticker that said do the thing you love until it kills you...

So I ate 479 tacos.

What is tact?

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.