Category: Family Jokes

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Ranking: 2.17 / 46

Two grapes go on a date. At the end of the date the boy grape took the girl grape home gave her a kiss and told her that it was their only date. She started to cry and when he asked her if she was ok. She said, "No, I'm crushed!"
Thanks to: Tiara Day - USA.
rec.:Jul/22/2002    pub.:Oct/30/2002

Ranking: 2.26 / 38
The other day I was talking to my six-year-old son, Mack. I was getting after him about his behavior. I said to him, "Mack do you know the difference between right and wrong"? He looked perplexed, so I followed "you know, like good and bad". To this he replied, "ya, like 1-800 and 1-900".
Thanks to: Matthew Bass - Virginia Beach - VA - USA.
rec.:Sep/11/2002    pub.:Dec/19/2002

Ranking: 1.85 / 80
A woman sent her son to get a tin of beans from the store. The boy went and found nobody at the store except the shopkeeper who was up the ladder filling up his shelves.
'Give me a tin of beans for my mother,' said the boy.
The keeper, from up there told him: 'Wait in the line.'
The boy looked around and saw nobody so he said again:
'Give me a tin of beans for my mum.'
The keeper said again: 'I told wait for your turn.'
The boy asked for the third time for the tin of beans.
'Can you see how many people there are before you? I said wait for your turn!'
The boy, who realizes he was being taken for ride, reached for a tin of peas from the lowest shelf and through it at the shopkeeper, hitting him in his forehead.
The Shopkeeper came down bleeding all over and said to the boy:
'See what you have done? You broke my head.'
'Good grief, of all these people you picked up on me?' said the boy and ran away home.
Thanks to: Salvino Lombardi - St. Venera - Malta
rec.:Nov/18/2009    pub.:Nov/30/2009    sent:Dec/21/2009

Ranking: 1.84 / 70
As I was watching my 12 year old son putting a model car together and getting more frustrated by the minute until he was screaming. I walked in the kitchen and calmly said
“Tom" you know what they say about patience and he looked up at me and said "I know Mom patience is a VIRGIN" I just smiled and said well yes you could say that too.
Thanks to: Debi Sanders - Sedalia - Mo - USA.
rec.:Mar/17/2008    pub.:Mar/19/2008    sent:Mar/26/2008

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