Category: Idiots Jokes

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Ranking: 3.31 / 49
“I’m not at all satisfied with the evidence against you,” said the judge to the prisoner on trial, “so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged.”
“Oh, good,” said the prisoner, “does that mean I can keep the money?”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/26/2004    pub.:Apr/26/2004    sent:May/31/2004

Ranking: 2.93 / 81
Out in the middle of nowhere a UFO drops out of the sky at a gas station, the aliens not concerned go out of the ship. The ship even has the letters UFO emblazoned on the side. While the owner of the station stands speechless, his young employee goes and fills up their tank and even waves as they pull off. After they’re gone the owner looks shocked at his employee. He says, "Do you realize what just happened?"
"Yeah” he replied?"
"Didn’t you see the letters UFO?"
"Yeah” she repeats" and?"
"Do you know what that means?"
"Gee boss, I've been working here for 5 years, of course I know what it means,
“Unleaded Fuel Only"
Thanks to: Aaron Moss - Lawton - oklahoma - USA.
rec.:Jul/28/2002    pub.:Oct/30/2002    sent:Dec/23/2007

Ranking: 3.16 / 58
“Young woman,” said the judge, “this court is going to see to it that you receive one thousand dollars a month in alimony.
“Thanks,” the husband spoke up, “and I’ll try to give her a few bucks myself.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Jul/28/2005    pub.:Jul/28/2005    sent:Jan/28/2006

Ranking: 2.62 / 129
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/29/2003    pub.:Sep/29/2003    sent:May/31/2008

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