There were three idiots who were in another country and they didn't know the language. So they decided that they would go to the local village and they would each learn one new phrase. So they went to the village, and the first idiot was watching a girl sing, "Me,me,me,me,me!!" So that was the first idiot's phrase. The second idiot saw a street vender who was selling silverware and who was saying "Forks and knifes." And that was the second idiot's phrase. The third idiot went to a park and saw a boy saying, "Swing me first!" And that was the third idiot's phrase. The three idiots met back and were about to tell each other their new phrases when a policeman ran up and said, "There has been a murder. Who did it?" The idiots decided to use their new phrases, so the first one said, "Me,me,me,me,me!" The policeman said, "What was the murder weapon?" The second idiot said, "Forks and knifes." The policeman said, "Y'all are going to have to hang for this." The third idiot said, "Swing me first!"
Kathryn - USA.
3.74 / 19
Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
One says to the other, "What shall we do?"
The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"
The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...
Russell Edwards - Colorado Springs - Colorado - USA.
2.45 / 89
Q: Why can't idiots make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't get a quart of water to stay in the envelope
Elias Z. - Cleveland - Ohio - USA.
rec.:Aug/3/2011 pub.:Nov/7/2011 sent:Nov/23/2013
2.53 / 74
When visiting South Africa, Daniel the Englishman asked a South African the question:
"Why is it that some South Africans say 'Ja' (pronounced as "ya") while others say 'Yes' if they have the same meanings?"
"Clever people say 'Yes' while stupid people say 'Ja'," was his reply.
"So, are you clever?" asked Daniel.
"Ja," replied the South African.
Alice - United Kingdom
rec.:Dec/4/2008 pub.:Dec/19/2008 sent:Sep/5/2009