Category: Idiots Jokes



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Ranking: 3.70 / 20
Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
One says to the other, "What shall we do?"
The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"
The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...
#22459    
Thanks to: Russell Edwards - Colorado Springs - Colorado - USA.
rec.:Dec/16/2011    pub.:Mar/28/2013


Ranking: 2.50 / 84
Charlie borrowed his friends Volkswagen, while his car was in the garage.
When he got into it, he found out it would not start.
So he got out and raised the hood and looked down in amazement.
This other guy came by driving in his Volkswagen and saw that this guys was in trouble, so he stopped and went over. "What’s the trouble?" he asked. After taking a look, he said; "No wonder it won't start someone stole the engine." "But don’t worry" he said, “I have an extra in my trunk you can borrow".
#18784    
Thanks to: El Cass - Hampton - Va - USA.
rec.:Jan/28/2008    pub.:Jan/28/2008    sent:Mar/2/2009


Ranking: 3.11 / 35
There were three idiots who were in another country and they didn't know the language. So they decided that they would go to the local village and they would each learn one new phrase. So they went to the village, and the first idiot was watching a girl sing, "Me,me,me,me,me!!" So that was the first idiot's phrase. The second idiot saw a street vender who was selling silverware and who was saying "Forks and knifes." And that was the second idiot's phrase. The third idiot went to a park and saw a boy saying, "Swing me first!" And that was the third idiot's phrase. The three idiots met back and were about to tell each other their new phrases when a policeman ran up and said, "There has been a murder. Who did it?" The idiots decided to use their new phrases, so the first one said, "Me,me,me,me,me!" The policeman said, "What was the murder weapon?" The second idiot said, "Forks and knifes." The policeman said, "Y'all are going to have to hang for this." The third idiot said, "Swing me first!"
#15320    
Thanks to: Kathryn - USA.
rec.:Jun/4/2005    pub.:Jun/21/2005


Ranking: 2.53 / 74
When visiting South Africa, Daniel the Englishman asked a South African the question:
"Why is it that some South Africans say 'Ja' (pronounced as "ya") while others say 'Yes' if they have the same meanings?"
"Clever people say 'Yes' while stupid people say 'Ja'," was his reply.
"So, are you clever?" asked Daniel.
"Ja," replied the South African.
#19715    
Thanks to: Alice - United Kingdom
rec.:Dec/4/2008    pub.:Dec/19/2008    sent:Sep/5/2009


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