Category: Idiots Jokes

Did you know the most difficult job in the US Military is being a Navy Pilot?
I guess it is really hard to make the boats fly!

Ladies and Gentleman I stand in front of you, to stand in back of you, to tell you something I know nothing about. Last Night in the middle of the afternoon, just before Breakfast, an Empty Garbage truck, loaded with good furniture, almost ran over a dad alley cat. We hurried to the Hospital as slow as we could, and there sat King Auther sitting in a six corner round able eating Beer with a fork. If you don't believe me ask the Blind man he saw it all................

There were three idiots who were in another country and they didn't know the language. So they decided that they would go to the local village and they would each learn one new phrase. So they went to the village, and the first idiot was watching a girl sing, "Me,me,me,me,me!!" So that was the first idiot's phrase. The second idiot saw a street vender who was selling silverware and who was saying "Forks and knifes." And that was the second idiot's phrase. The third idiot went to a park and saw a boy saying, "Swing me first!" And that was the third idiot's phrase. The three idiots met back and were about to tell each other their new phrases when a policeman ran up and said, "There has been a murder. Who did it?" The idiots decided to use their new phrases, so the first one said, "Me,me,me,me,me!" The policeman said, "What was the murder weapon?" The second idiot said, "Forks and knifes." The policeman said, "Y'all are going to have to hang for this." The third idiot said, "Swing me first!"

A ventriloquist is working in a small rural town and during his show a local stands up and yells, "HEY YOU! ON STAGE! You been making smart-aleck remarks about us small-town folk being stupid all night long! We're not all stupid, ya know!" "Relax" said the ventriloquist, "They're just jokes!" "I'm not talking to you, sir!" The rube replied, "I'm talking to that little fella sitting on your knee!"