Category: Animal Jokes

[228]  6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20  
Ranking: 3.01 / 155
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack.
The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"
The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."
The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"
The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
#5096    
Thanks to: Justin WIllingham - Memphis - TN - USA.
rec.:Jun/23/2002    pub.:Oct/2/2002    sent:May/8/2015


Ranking: 3.01 / 153
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
#1093    
Thanks to: Andrew Edmonds
rec.:Jul/20/2001    pub.:Jul/20/2001    sent:Jun/20/2014


Ranking: 3.07 / 136
A Texas rancher was driving through Mexico and stopped at the edge of the road to admire the scenery and a white beautiful horse caught his eye. The horse looked healthy well kept and was in a separate corral. Just for tries the Texan asked one of the workers if the horse was for sale. The worker trying to communicate said “No, no, he no look to good.” The Texan was not satisfied with the answered because he saw that the animal looked great and insisted on buying it, after a few arguments the worker arranged for the sale and the Texan took the horse back to his ranch. He rode the horse through his ranch and galloped to the barn when suddenly the horse ran right into the barn wall. Frustrated the Texan takes the horse back to Mexico and talks to the worker that sold him the horse and explains what happened. The worker said, “I told you he no look to good”
#11372    
Thanks to: anonymous - USA.
rec.:Oct/16/2003    pub.:Oct/21/2003    sent:Feb/28/2013


Ranking: 2.90 / 175
Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says "You know.... when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds.... I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived....blah blah blah..."
In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, "Oh yeah...when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds.... I am the greatest racehorse that ever lived.... blah blah blah..."
Now it was about this time that the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, "I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds."
The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the fist racehorse finally said, "Isn't that amazing (hic)...a talking greyhound!"
#5538    
Thanks to: Jeff - Sydney - Australia
rec.:Jul/29/2002    pub.:Oct/30/2002    sent:Mar/10/2015


[228]  6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20  


 


© 1995-2015 EMERgency 24 Inc.


63