Category: Animal Jokes



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Ranking: 3.25 / 96
One morning the lion is feeling especially ferocious. He saunters over to a monkey swinging in a tree and roars, "Who's the king of this jungle?" The monkey scampers down from the tree, bows to the lion and stammered, "Wh..wh...why you are Mr. Lion."
A few minutes later, the lion comes across a warthog. He stops in front of the animal and asks, "Who's the baddest dude in this jungle?"
The warthog hid his face in the dirt and whispered, "You're the baddest, King Lion."
This continues all morning long with animal after animal bowing and scraping to the lion. Finally the lion comes across an 80-year-old bull elephant. He bellows at the elephant, "Who's the king of this jungle? Who owns this place?"
With that the elephant wrapped his trunk around the lion's belly. He raised the lion 12 feet in the air and slammed his head against the ground. After that he slammed the lion into a tree on the right and then into another tree on the left. Finally, the elephant swung his trunk and threw the lion 35 feet away where the lion landed in a thorn bush.
As the elephant lumbered down the trail the lion shook his paw and shouted, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get an attitude!"
#116    
Thanks to: Len C. - Litchfield - NH - USA.
rec.:Aug/8/1998    pub.:Aug/8/1998    sent:Jun/2/2011


Ranking: 2.97 / 147
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack.
The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"
The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."
The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"
The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
#5096    
Thanks to: Justin WIllingham - Memphis - TN - USA.
rec.:Jun/23/2002    pub.:Oct/2/2002    sent:Aug/8/2013


Ranking: 2.89 / 165
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks.
#71    
Thanks to: Andres
rec.:Jun/15/1998    pub.:Jun/15/1998    sent:Dec/20/2013


Ranking: 2.54 / 319
Two Cows are talking through a fence. One cow says to the other, "You know, I'm really worried about this Mad Cow Disease." The other cow says to him, "I wouldn't be too worried about it. It can't affect us chickens."
#1596    
Thanks to: Thomas Raines - Portland - Oregon - USA.
rec.:Oct/8/2001    pub.:Oct/18/2001    sent:Nov/10/2013


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