Category: Animal Jokes

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Ranking: 3.70 / 37
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
Thanks to: David Howard
rec.:Jun/1/1999    pub.:Jun/1/1999    sent:Jun/1/1999

Ranking: 2.60 / 161
The only person in our town who can afford to go on a jaguar is a zoo-keeper.
Thanks to: Walt Smith - Toronto - Canada
rec.:Jul/7/2011    pub.:Jul/12/2011    sent:Sep/1/2011

Ranking: 2.95 / 83
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"
Thanks to: shannon Nelson - USA.
rec.:Jun/16/2009    pub.:Jun/25/2009    sent:Sep/10/2010

Ranking: 3.14 / 63
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Take it easy, cats donít hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves.
You donít understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me; it is going to be fatal!
Cats arenít like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?
Iím Josephineís parrot you jerk! Help me please, please help!
Thanks to: John Teixeira - Barueri - S„o Paulo - Brazil
rec.:Dec/27/2013    pub.:Jan/24/2014    sent:Oct/22/2014

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