Ranking: 3.50 / 36
A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows. The driver, getting out to see what was the matter, noticed one of the cows looking at him. "I believe it's your radiator," said the cow.
The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door. "A cow just gave me advice about my car!" he shouted, waving his arms franticly back toward the field.
The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the doorframe to glance down the field. "The cow with two big black spots on it?" the farmer asked slowly.
"Yes! Yes! That's the one!" the excited man replied.
"Oh. Well, that's Ethel," the farmer said, turning back to the man. "Don't pay any attention to her. She doesn't know a thing about cars."
Thanks to: James Cusik
rec.:May/18/1998 pub.:May/18/1998 sent:May/18/1998
Ranking: 3.07 / 57
A mother mouse and her three children crept out of their hole into the kitchen and began feasting on some delicious bits of food. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Mother Mouse saw a cat slinking toward them. The cat was between the mice and their hole. The mother muse puffed up her lungs and went, “Woof! Woof!” The cat turned tail and ran. With that, the mother quickly led her children back to safety in their hole. When they were settle and breathing normally, Mother Mouse said to her children. “Now, what’s the lesson from that experience?” “We don’t know,” the baby mice squeaked. “It is this,” said Mother Mouse. “It’s always good to know a second language.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/8/2009 pub.:Sep/8/2009 sent:Feb/25/2010
Ranking: 3.24 / 46
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double-take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The storeowner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
Thanks to: Ophelia Morning
rec.:Mar/21/2001 pub.:Mar/21/2001 sent:Mar/21/2001
Ranking: 2.61 / 112
A young polar bear asks his father, "Dad, am I 100% Polar Bear"
The father bear responds, "Well, son, I am all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your grandparents, even your great grandparents are 100% polar bear. So yes, son, you are 100% polar bear. Why do you ask?"
The young polar bear replies "Because I am really cold!"
Thanks to: Dan - Houghton - MI - USA.
rec.:Sep/23/2007 pub.:Oct/26/2007 sent:Feb/3/2008