Category: Animal Jokes



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Ranking: 3.25 / 44
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves.
You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me; it is going to be fatal!
Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?
I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk! Help me please, please help!
#23861    
Thanks to: John Teixeira - Barueri - São Paulo - Brazil
rec.:Dec/27/2013    pub.:Jan/24/2014    sent:Oct/22/2014


Ranking: 2.81 / 77
A rabbit walked into a restaurant with a lion. The waiter seats them and asks the rabbit, "What will you have?" The rabbit says bring me a half a head of lettuce. The waiter looks at the lion and says; and what will he have? The rabbit says "The lion?" he's not eating". The waiter says "why? Isn’t he hungry?" Then the rabbit says "if he was hungry do you think I'd be here?"
#19060    
Thanks to: Lisa M. Brown - Albertville - Alabama - USA.
rec.:Apr/25/2008    pub.:May/14/2008    sent:Jul/1/2008


Ranking: 2.91 / 65
Mother and father rabbit were talking about the children after they had been put to bed.
“Why was Junior so happy this evening?” asked father rabbit.
“Well”, explained mother rabbit, “he had a marvelous time at school. He learned to multiply”
#3967    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/6/2002    pub.:Apr/6/2002


Ranking: 2.81 / 72
An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"
#383    
Thanks to: Rosablanca - Oregon - USA.
rec.:Jul/12/1999    pub.:Jul/12/1999    sent:Jul/12/1999


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