Category: Animal Jokes



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Ranking: 2.88 / 64
Mother and father rabbit were talking about the children after they had been put to bed.
“Why was Junior so happy this evening?” asked father rabbit.
“Well”, explained mother rabbit, “he had a marvelous time at school. He learned to multiply”
#3967    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/6/2002    pub.:Apr/6/2002


Ranking: 3.19 / 42
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked: “What’s happening?” The runner replied breathlessly: “A lion has escaped from the zoo.” “Oh my, which way is it heading?” “Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”
#23659    
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Sep/17/2013    pub.:Sep/17/2013    sent:Jul/19/2014


Ranking: 3.59 / 27
A man looks out the window into his back yard and sees his dog shaking and tossing something into the air. He rushed out to find that it was the neighbors' rabbit, Mr. Bun Bun, and he was very dead. Mr. Bun Bun was also filthy with dog drool and mud, but thankfully there was no blood: his back must have broken at the first shake.
The man decided that he could not possibly explain to his neighbors how his dog had gotten into their yard and broke into the rabbit cage and killed Mr. Bun Bun while they were away.
He bathed Mr. Bun Bun until completely clean and dry, placed him back in his cage, re-latched the door and hoped they would believe that their rabbit had passed away peacefully.
Several days later, the man notices his neighbor mowing his lawn, so he walks over and asks how things were going.
"Well" the neighbor says, "not so well. We lost Mr. Bun Bun last week, and we are all still very upset about it all."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yes, we found him one day when we got home, and he must have died in his sleep because he looked so peaceful."
(Whew!) "Well, that does not sound too bad."
"Oh no, and we were not surprised: I mean he was very old, and had really started to show his age the last few months."
"I guess I am a bit confused then, as to why your family is still upset."
"Well, we buried the little guy out by the back fence and thought we were all done with it, but you are not going to believe this: Someone dug him up, cleaned him up and put his body back into his cage as some form of mean and nasty practical joke."
#23686    
Thanks to: Barry Foster - Indianapolis - Indiana - USA.
rec.:Sep/29/2013    pub.:Nov/29/2013


Ranking: 2.77 / 71
An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"
#383    
Thanks to: Rosablanca - Oregon - USA.
rec.:Jul/12/1999    pub.:Jul/12/1999    sent:Jul/12/1999


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